I worked alongside Tod for just under 2 years and loved getting to know him. If you know Tod well, then you know there is no tude like a sassy Tod tude 🤣 Some of my favorite moments were him losing his mind over something and me calmly stating a sentence or two and he would say “oh, that makes sense”. He told me that it was the way I put things to him, he needed it rationalized in a way that processed for him. About a year into working together, he brought me an opalite stone as a gift. He said it reminded him of me when held in the light because everything was less cloudy when my light was around to clear it up. It was the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. I miss his hugs, his crazy sense of humor, but I’m so damn thankful I got to be his friend 💙 - Claire Lawrence

I am not very good at making friends, friends usually make me. And good Tod Almighty, did he. My first few months at Anatometal were kind of scary to me. It was my first time in a very long time that I’ve been at the bottom of the food chain at a job. I had a few friends, but mostly I kept to myself. I had a spot near the gate where I’d lay down during lunch to “lizard.” It was right next to where Tod would take his lunch by the door. One day, he said “you know, you could just sit here with me,” so I did. And I did nearly every day for two years. He would regale me with stories of his past, recipes he’d been working on, and we shared many laughs. We’d buy junk on Amazon, and he’d pull out cash to pay me back and would always say something that only Tod could say as he handed it to me. He would bring my husband and I jars and jars of soup, and bring us clothes he was going to donate to pick through. And none of that is even touching the surface of our little adventures and chats when I’d take him home from work. He made us family, which is pretty hard to do with me. I could not be more grateful for that. Miss you.

Where do I even start?

None of us are going to be able to write anything good enough here. Some of us might get close, but Tod was, um, a LOT of person, and he won’t be easy to summarize on a memorial page. In a big way, that was a good thing. There was absolutely enough Tod to go around. Some of us were lucky enough to get multiple helpings.

Before either of us worked at Anatometal, Tod was the first professional I met in this industry (apologies to the dude that pierced my nipple in the back room of a head shop while we blared Bon Jovi in 2001, you absolutely don’t count). And then he was the first person I met AT Anatometal, neither of us knowing we’d spend the next 20 years as family.

He was the first person to console me after my (at the time) biggest and most devastating breakup. Right after he had told me “Ha! You fail at life!”

Considering that the two of us could talk for hours on end without bothering to breathe, I continue to be at a loss for how to do this. I’m just gonna rehash the first attempt and hope Tod will still cover for me if anybody points out something wrong, and then he can berate me later.

I really thought I’d be more prepared for this after “enough” time had passed. I don’t have all the words yet. Parts of my brain haven’t accepted it yet, despite how many times I’ve said goodbye and walked out of that damn hospital knowing it would be the last time I saw you. I kinda believe you were doing it to fuck with us a few more times.

No amount of time would have been long enough to know you, Tod Almighty. You were one of my first friends in what would eventually become my career. You’ve been part of my family and one of my favorite people for 20 years. I’m going to have your laugh etched into my heart forever. The times that one of our off-hand jokes made us both stop and laugh until we were crying and had to sit down to collect ourselves without falling over were truly beautiful. Trying to get your silly ass to the bus stop across town on time. Picking you up at your broken-down car on the side of the worst highway ever, driving you an hour to your house so you could get ready and catch another ride to the airport, only for you to miss the flight anyway. Moving an entire dresser full of vhs tapes. Eating a medically significant amount of bbq and watching Chinese music videos. Watching people blush because of something you said.

I am absolutely gutted that we’ll never get to share music or gossip again.
Hopefully the sharp edge you’ve helped to hone on some of us stays keen. You left us all wanting more, and I know you’ll enjoy that. Thank you for letting me & the others be with you for your last week, and thank you for finally letting yourself go, you sweet, stubborn, absolutely monstrous old bitch.

One of my favorite memories with you is about books. I told you all about this series I LOVED, that I would read over and over, sad that there wasn’t more. You let me tell you damn near EVERY single thing that happened across five books.
Then you smirked and informed me that not only did you know the series, you also loved it, and the other SEVEN BOOKS THAT I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT. Big surprise, Tod liked leaving boys flabbergasted, even if they weren’t his type.

The lunch bee misses you. The lizards miss you. And you’re missing the new baby lizards.

I still listen for your voice every day. I’m still waiting for at least one more horrifyingly offensive and hilarious joke that would “probably” get us “gently” kicked out of a restaurant. I’m still waiting for your next album recommendation that I’ll either fall in love with or pretend to like. An awful lot of us are going to be broken-hearted pretty much forever, but we still love you. But also, fuck you for leaving us.

Have fun with Blue & Dax.
Maybe I’ll come up with something better later, something that actually feels worthy of you.
For now, just go have fun with Blue & Dax. Maybe try to avoid the raccoons?

Y’all should have had Kiana write this.
Or Tod.
I bet Tod would’ve written a great memorial.
Love, Joe.